Trump Will Grant Your Christmas Wish, If Your Christmas Wish Is For a Horrifying Nuclear Arms Race

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Here at Jezebel, we recently received a loving but stern memo from our editors about our overuse of the word “hell” as a metaphor for what this country and this year feel like. So instead, I will say that Donald Trump’s bold proclamation Friday that he’s ready and excited for an “arms race” makes me feel like I’m on a tropical vacation that goes on forever and in which I am permanently engulfed in flames!

Yesterday, Trump tweeted that the U.S. needs more nukes until other people stop having nukes:

Today, in a statement to the Morning Joe hosts, he clarified that yes, he’s ready and excited for a potential arms race. He used those words, “arms race,” because the ‘80s are alive and here to irradiate us all:

“Let it be an arms race,” he said, according to the statement. “We will outmatch them at every past and outlast them all.”

Donald Trump’s friend Vladimir Putin has also expressed an interest in expanding his country’s nuclear capabilities, both of them merrily ignoring decades of nuclear nonproliferation treaties and discussions that took us back from the brink of ending civilization.

According to CNN, flacks are trying to clean up Trump’s mess by pretending he tweeted something else yesterday:

Trump communications director Jason Miller sent a statement to try to explain the President-elect’s tweet on nuclear capability.

He suggested Trump was “referring to the threat of nuclear proliferation and the critical need to prevent it,” although that was not referenced in the tweet. He also said Trump was emphasizing the need to “modernize our deterrent capability.”

On MSNBC, Trump’s new press secretary and current RNC chair Sean Spicer also said that Trump didn’t say what he said. In a brain-bending conversation with Matt Lauer, he promised “we’ll all be just fine.”

According to a White House pool report, Donald Trump is currently in West Palm Beach, playing a nice round of golf with Tiger Woods. I’m glad one of us is having a relaxing day.