Bridezilla Meltdown Leads to Reunion

Peoples Dreams Do Come True

 

Reunion Stories

Bridezilla Meltdown Leads to Reunion

PrevNext



Posted: 8/2/2011
Note: Names, Identifying informaiton and details may have been altered to protect personal identities.

Personally, I think wedding planning is among the most stressful and emotionally taxing times a woman goes through in her life. Especially when it comes to trying to make sure everyone is happy and that all the details work out just perfectly. If the bride has any insecurities, it feels like they are put under an overhead projector and blown up for the whole world to see. If the family has any secrets, well, they may not stay hidden for very long.

That's what happened during my wedding. I was trying on my hundredth wedding dress, in a stuffy bridal salon with an over-zealous sales woman hovering by. I stepped out of the dressing room in a gown I had fallen in love with, and was crushed when my mom sat there with a blank stare, and zero emotional connection to the experience at all.

"Mom! This is my wedding, could you show just a LITTLE enthusiasm?" I demanded. The sales attendant bowed out to give us a little privacy for my bridezilla meltdown. "My whole life you have been this frigid ice queen with no emotion at all! I can't stand it anymore! This is supposed to be a mother-daughter bonding experience and you aren't even emotionally connected!" I was on a roll. My feelings had been on lock down for way too long. What happened next was the absolute LAST thing I expected.

She stood abruptly and shouted, "You want to know why I have issues being 'emotionally connected?'" using two fingers on each hand to make quotes in the air. "It's because 36 years ago I gave a child up for adoption and I had to shut OFF my emotions or go insane! And every day while you are planning your guest list for this wedding, all I can think about is your big brother who won't be here!" She slumped down into her chair and both of us fell into a stunned silence.

"I can't believe you never told me...." I sat down next to her, poofy wedding dress and all. I took her hand and she poured out the whole story. She gave birth to a baby boy in Houston, Texas in August of 1971 and has never been the same since. It's amazing how learning one little fact about your life can spin your world on its axis and make you see things in a totally different way. It helped me understand my life so much better.

Now that the wedding is over, I want to give my mom the closure she needs and hopefully meet my big brother. That's why I contacted SQA in January to initiate the search. Julie contacted me right away and I began to get snapshots of my mom's life. I learned she as 4 feet 11 inches tall, and had brown hair and eyes, and a medium brown skin town when the baby was born. She was 19 years old and gave birth at St. Joseph Hospital in Houston. The adoption was handled through Catholic Charities, and the baby was adopted by a black family. Shortly afterward, she had to pull herself together and go to work at Foley's Department Store in downtown Houston.

A few years later, she received an update in the mail from Catholic Charities. They reported that the adoptive mother worked at the cosmetic counter of a department store, and the father was a postal worker. They were in their early to mid-thirties and had adopted another son from Catholic Charities about 2 years after my brother. My brother allergies as a child and he did not like to get dirty. He would often request to change his clothes if his got soiled.

I worked with Julie to request documents from the adoption agency. Once we had them, Julie located my brother. His name is Kevin and he lives in Humble, Texas. He is 5 feet 8 inches tall, weighs 148 pounds, and has a criminal record. That was a surprise to us!

Kevin had three DWI's, Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon, and in 1991 was charged with Possession of a Firearm on School Premises. Since 1991 he has been clean. In fact, he got married about 6 years ago and was recently divorced. While Julie tracked Kevin through his marriage, previous address, phone records, etc., I could not contain my enthusiasm!

I told all my friends and family that we had found my half-brother. When I told my half-sister, the first question she asked was, "what's his name." She was flabbergasted when I told her his full name, then started jumping up and down and screaming. She said "Oh my god, I think I went to high school with him! He even went to my same church!"

When Julie called back with this exact information and his phone number, we verified all the information and sure enough, it was the same guy she went to school with. I can't believe that this is such a small world! She called him that night and he and I talked for the first time. My mom cried and cried when she first heard his voice, and sat and listened as he carried on the conversation for several minutes while she composed herself.

Since we all live in Houston, it was easy to get together for the first time. I feel so blessed to know to have found my brother, and I feel like for the first time, me and my mom can have an open honest relationship because I understand where she is coming from and why she has seemed cold all these years. I want my mom and my brother to know that I love them both, and that they are a part of me and my family forever and always. Now that we have found Kevin, we won't let him out of our sight! Thanks for all your help!

Written by Mica Burton on Jessica's behalf.

(Client ID# 267220)
PrevNext

 
Reuniting Family Mother and Son in Reunion With Adoptive Mother and Birth Mother Melva and Darlene in Reunion Reuniting Sisters Father in Service Molly Reuniting Mother and Daughter Reuniting Multiple Generations Reunion Stories Reuniting with Birth Mother Debra Reuniting World Wide
Peoples Dreams Do Come True...
Sharing and Bookmark Center